It all began after leaving a nasty marriage and uplifting my children and myself and coming to terms with being on my own.
My work, luckily, understood the pain I was going through. But it wasn’t until I collapsed and my doctor said to me, after waiting so long in my car because I couldn’t stand sitting in the doctors rooms, I was so so tired.
My doctors response was, that I am lucky I came when I did, because I would have ended up in a place where no-one wants to go. Thats when my denial started… I laughed off what he said and didn’t really take it all in, and till this day, I don’t think I really am taking it all in.
I love my life and my social life, and do not want diabetes to control it. This has made me stay in denial, and I think the worst of it is, when you are always hearing of the effects such as blindness, loss of limbs, heart attacks. When you have check ups with the optometrists and podiatrists and doctors that say, okay, everything looks good, but you must look after yourself.
I walk away, and think, I am okay, so what is the fuss and remain in denial. I often ask myself as well as family, what will it take for me to realise the problems that may inevitably catch up with me?
I dont know, maybe when it is too late?
I want to live a normal life, eat when I want to eat, drink when I want to drink. Go out without worrying will I get sick or have a Hypo? Life now is so restrictive and I don’t want to be restricted…arghhhhhhhh!!!!
It is frustrating, depressing and I wish I never had it…