Morbidly obese and diabetes denial…
I was diagnosed with type two diabetes at the end of 2003 – I knew it was coming because of my obesity, and the fact that my mum, grandma and uncle all have it.
I was so good and so controlled in the first year or so. I managed to shed 30 kilos and my diabetes was so well controlled that I just got too relaxed about it all.
I met my husband at the end of 2004, and that is where the denial began to rear it’s ugly head. My controlled eating became out of control binging. My husband is a big eater who has never really had to worry about what he eats, and I was matching him spoonful for spoonful. I piled back on the weight I had lost and stopped worrying too much about testing my BSL.
My HbA1c wasn’t too bad when I had it checked, so I continued behaving badly. At the beginning of 2006 I started to realise that my diabetes was getting out of control – I ended up having to go on medication, and had to see an Endocrinologist – over the space of 6 months my medication kept being upped because I was not in control of anything.
I am still in denial, I have major issues with food and I don’t keep a good check of my health. I have recently suffered a miscarriage, probably has a lot to do with the state of my health. I suffer from depression because I have let myself get so totally out of control.
I wish there was an easy way to turn back the clock, or wave a magic wand to make everything alright again.
Editor’s note
Many people talk about denial and depression when they live with diabetes. It is a journey of ups and downs that can be long and hard for some people. Obesity is also a problem for many people, especially with type 2 diabetes and many people live with a range of problems relating to food and eating. These things can be addressed in counselling and things do get better.
It is important to seek support if this story strikes a chord with you. You can do this via the counselling option at this website or email helen@chariot.net.au