I am 38 years old and have had type 2 diabetes for 20 years but have have been in full denial for 18 years.
Then I had a scare with my foot – I got an ulcer on my foot and as I was in denial, decided not to do anything about this until I was rushed back from the far north by the flying doctors with blood poisoning….
This was a wake up call for me at the time but as the last 2 years have passed I am experiencing a few more complications from my denial. I have got retinal problems with my eyes and have been having laser surgery but now have to wait 3 months to find out if all this has worked. To top things off I had my latest 3 monthly test to find out that my kidneys are now not working how they should.
I try to stay positive but find it hard from day to day as I have days when I think “Yeh I will do the right thing as I am supposed to” and then I have days when I think ” How am I going to keep down a job when I have no eyesight and have lost my foot and I am in a wheelchair? How am I going to get around, form a relationship with someone when I have these problems?”
So then I get down about the whole situation and slip right back into the denial of having diabetes, even though I know at the end of the day it is up to me to look after myself regarding my diabetes.
As I do not have many people to talk to about this problem that I am in and at the moment can’t find any answers for my problem – it is becoming like a dog chasing his tail and I am in a rut at the moment and not sure how to get out……
This story of denial is one that many people have spoken to me about and you can read a number of people’s stories here on this theme.
It is important that people do share these stories and open up conversations about the ways we can challenge and stand up to denial to stop the “tail chasing” and feelings of being in a rut. Often the denial can lead to people stopping self care tasks, even though they know the outcome might be bad. If people have other stories of denial and perhaps how they have challenged this, these would be greatly appreciated too, as additions here for us all to share in dealing with this problem and support each other – there is strength in numbers!