My little girl is a type 1 diabetic. My only baby and my only child. It breaks my heart every day even as I sit and write this I cry.
Every day I go out there and put on a brave face and no one, not my family, not my friends know that I suffer inside. “It’s not a serious illness” I get told on a daily basis by my family and friends, you know, the people that mean well. Then I get told by my health care professionals of the serious complications and I am afraid.
It breaks my heart to see this five year old little girl look at me and say why? Why do I have to have needles? Why do I have to stop to do BGLS while I am having fun? Why?
I don’t have a good enough answer for her.
Guilt, it’s a ruler in my life -perhaps if I had breastfeed longer or lead a healthier life style she would be “normal” like those other kids. I know that it’s not true, that this is the lot in life we have been given, but then why don’t I feel less guilt.
And the highs and lows. The roller coaster. Have a high or have a low you have one uncontrollable child. Try and explain that to a complete stranger! She doesn’t look sick so it can’t be that bad, right? Wrong! If they could see on the outside what she feels on the inside I am sure they would be shocked by her appearance.
But in my heart I have hope. Hope for her future and the future of the other children like her.I hope and pray every day that no other child gets the news that they to have this horrible disease that affects so many. I hope that we get more understanding more recognition for the trails that we are put though on a daily basis. I hope that we are meet by people who are educated and not afraid, and most of all I hope for a cure.